There’s a saying that I coined from my brother that we say from time in regards to arguments, quarrels, or disagreements, “It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right. All that matters is the results.” I love this phrase because it puts everything into perspective. I think too many people get so caught up in the heat of the current situation that they lose sight of what truly needs to take place. It really doesn’t matter who “wins” the argument, just make sure that at the end of the day, you both are still together. Don’t let something small or petty get so out of hand that you destroy your relationship (and this really applies to any type of relationship). You’ll realize later that it wasn’t worth it.

People will argue, and people will disagree. Especially people that are in a relationship together because they’re around each other enough to eventually bump heads. You can’t expect two people with two different ways of thinking (and we all know that men and women think very differently from each other), and with two different perspectives of the world to always agree on everything. Disagreements are inevitable, but with the right mode of thinking, you can make sure that disagreements aren’t detrimental to the relationship.

I think this can be done in several ways. Initially, it’s important that you understand how to communicate, and then how to communicate to the other individual. Learn how to express your concerns, thoughts, opinions, etc. without seeming aggressive, jumping to conclusions, or blowing the situation out of proportion. And also learn how the other person needs to be communicated to in order for it to be received appropriately. Everyone doesn’t like to be talked to the same way.

Also, keep in mind the big picture. If some discussion goes off on a tangent, and other things are brought into it, and it begins to escalate, then keep the big picture in mind and remind yourself, and the other person if necessary, the worth of the whole thing in the first place. Most small arguments can be squashed fairly quickly if both sides are actually trying to find a solution or compromise rather than proving who’s right and who’s wrong. Identify the problem, clearly (and fairly) express how you both feel, and then ask, “How do we fix this?” or “What happens next?”, and move on. All the extra drama is unnecessary. If you can’t express how you feel without exploding, then write it down, or cool off for a bit first. It doesn’t matter how valid your point is, if it’s delivered aggressively, then it will be received defensively. Which means the other person will definitely not be receptive to the point that you’re trying to make. In conclusion, if you can’t agree on the issue, at least agree on the result.

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