A bunch of stuff that got cut from a video I made for one of LatoyaForever’s shows – check her out! youtube.com I had a lot of fun answering them so hopefully you’ll enjoy this. If not, just watch this video of a guy with the craziest eyebrows: www.youtube.com Get at me on Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr and Formspring: twitter.com facebook.com andrewismusic.tumblr.com http
TweetWhen a relationship starts to go wrong it can be a worrying time. Can you save it and is it even worth saving? If you have made the choice that it is the right thing to try and get things back on track and make the relationship work then you will need to know how. Follow these suggestions in order to give yourself the best chance.
1. Decide If it’s Worth Saving
You’ll each need to decide this if the relationship is going to work. If one companion is totally satisfied that the relationship is fated to finish, it’s going to be almost unimaginable to turn that around.
More break up info at get over a broken heart
The good news, in amongst the unhappiness, is that many individuals are unsure of their feelings, at the end of a relationship, so even if they feel like the relationship is over they won’t be completely certain. Generally, folks will imagine the worst, because their disappointment makes this easier to cope with.
2. Pinpoint the Problems
Identifying the issue that prompted the break up could be hard. Let’s say, there’s an argument and that causes feelings to boil over. This may really feel just like the set off for the break up however it is typically way more sophisticated than that, with emotions simmering away for a very long time before that.
Also check out save your relationship
While affairs are sometimes blamed for break ups they have to be viewed for what they are. The partner who has been cheated on is true to feel hurt and betrayed however needs to know that the affair is commonly a symptom of an underlying problem. Lack of intimacy, for example, can drive somebody to an affair, and whereas it doesn’t excuse the conduct, it will assist to know it.
In any case, it’s essential to determine the true core concern if you wish to save the relationship, rather than dealing with surface issues and allowing the true points to fester.
3. Share Your Ideas
Good communication is vital to any wholesome relationship, so you need to be able to really speak to each other, and both partners want to have the ability to listen.
Generally, difficult matters must be covered. If your companion brings up a painful subject, it can be arduous to deal with. However keep in mind, they’re not doing this to hurt you; they’re doing this to get things into the open, so to move forward.
It is possible that both of you will have powerful, emotional reactions to various subjects that need to be discussed. So, try to stay calm and composed, even when your feelings are wobbling beneath the load of the situation.
4. Make A Plan
Detail the steps you are both ready to take, so as to make the relationship work. It’s necessary that you both contribute to this plan, as a way to make it work.
More break up info at broken heart
Whatever the relationship’s wants are, there’s an answer available. If you have to spend more time collectively, discover a appropriate time and commit to it. If the two of you are not talking enough, then make time to do so. It doesn’t need to be too rigid, nevertheless it should show that you are each prepared to work on the continued health of the relationship.
When you have a plan in place you have a great opportunity to show how committed you are and the positive changes you are willing to take to make things work.
A final thought
No matter what you’re going through there’s somewhere where you can turn. There’s always support out there for people who are prepared to take responsibility for creating a healthy relationship. If the two of you are committed to making it work, there is always hope and a real chance at a future.
TweetQuestion: I recently started dating a guy I’ve known for a few years. It was going well, if anything a bit fast–he already started to talk about moving into my house and taking vacations together. Yesterday, he gave me a call that said he wasn’t ready for anything serious, and that he didn’t want me to be hurt if we broke up, but that he had strong feelings for me and was feeling closer, so anything was possible. He asked if I was interested in having kids and getting married someday, and when I said I couldn’t envision that, he said that could change. I really don’t get it. We talk on the phone several times a day–four times on the day he gave me that call, and he stopped by my department at work twice that day to say hi. He seems to be the one pushing for more interaction, and yet now he’s saying it’s too much. He’s also said he could see himself getting serious about me. To put this into some perspective, he is just coming off of a divorce. We do have a great time when we’re out together, but I’m utterly confused by all this inconsistency. Your thoughts?
Answer: I was going to answer forget about him and find someone more mature and ready for a serious relationship. Then I read about the divorce at the end. So it sounds like he might really be serious about you, just not yet. I have the feeling he wants to enjoy is freedom after the divorce for a little before jumping into another serious relationship.
That is understandable, however, it depends on what that freedom means. Does he want to go and have other girlfriends for a while and then settle down with you? Or does he just want to take things slow?
There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow. And as long as you spend time together, you do have a relationship. Without a serious commitment, you should set boundaries though and not cross them. One thing that comes to mind is unprotected sex. You do need a serious fully committed relationship for that. There might be another limits you can set. After all, if he does not get all serious with you, he can not have all of your benefits.
I do want to mention one thing though. If his idea of freedom means other women, don’t tolerate that. If he does not consider you worthy of a serious relationship now, he can’t expect you to sit around waiting for him.
So it does not matter if you call it serious or marriage or something, as long as he’s not seeing other women, he is yours and yours alone, no matter how much he is willing to commit.
Tweet
