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According to researches of sociologists and the family advisers, each family passes some stages of development, and transition from one to another, as a rule, is accompanied by crisis. It is considered to be that in complications in home life first of all result household difficulties. But, except life, there are many reasons, capable to provoke crisis in family, at any stage of its existence. First, problems in home life can begin, when one of spouses endures own psychological crisis, for example, middle age crisis. Reconsidering the life, feeling dissatisfaction with own personality, the person decides to change everything, including the home life. Secondly, any of the events listed further brings changes in family life. For example, birth of the child, and also such vital stages, as going of the child to school, transitional age of the child, leaving from parental family. Besides, there are some others reasons, which become the reason of crisis for spouses: complexities at job, problems in mutual relations with relatives, financial situation, moving of family to other city or country. And, of course, there can be more serious stress-factors as serious illnesses, death, wars, and job loss, birth of defective children.

There are eight dangerous symptoms:

- Decreases attraction of spouses to intimate affinity;

- Spouses don’t aspire to be pleasant any more for each other;

- All questions, connected with education of children, provoke quarrels and mutual reproaches;

- Spouses haven’t identical opinion concerning the majority of significant questions for them (relations with native and friends, plans for the future, distribution of incomes of family and other);

- Husband and wife badly understand (or don’t understand at all) feeling of each other;

- Almost all acts and words of the partner call irritation;

- One of spouses considers that is compelled to concede all time to desires and opinion of another.

- There is no necessity to share the problems and pleasures with the partner.

Don’t be angry at each other!

Psychologists conditionally allocate some of the most explosive age of family. According to statistics, about half of all marriages breaks up after the first year of joint life. Newly made spouses don’t pass test of family life. Disagreements can concern distributions of duties, unwillingness of partners to change the habits.

The following critical age for family – the first 3-5 years of marriage. At this time more often in family are born children, and spouses are anxious by arrangement of separate house and the professional problems, career growth. Physical both nervous tension call alienation and misunderstanding between spouses. During this period romantic love regenerates in matrimonial friendship – spouses now colleagues, instead of ardent enamored.
In 7-9 years of joint life there can come the next crisis connected with such phenomenon, as accustoming. The life was more or less stabilized; children have grown up. Quite often spouses feel disappointment. They compare reality to what it was represented some years ago in dreams. It seems that now all life will be monotony, it would be desirable something new, unusual, fresh sensations.

Passes time, and if the husband and the wife are still together, in 16-20 years of marriage is possible one more everyday reef. It is aggravated with crisis of middle age of one of spouses.
During this period sociologists name one more crisis period in family life: when adult children leave the house. Spouses lose the main activity – bringing up of children. They should learn to live together again.

It is almost impossible to dodge the cases when you have to face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest problem here is that people think too strong about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole story in another way. This is not about how to get your ex back, really. This is about how to make it exciting again.

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Family crisis is first of all crisis of communication. More than 80 % of the married couples addressing for the psychological help, complain of complexities in communication among themselves. Whereas problems with children and their education, sexual or financial complexities are at the bottom of family crisis only in 40 % of cases.

Search for the compromise.

If between spouses there is close relations, if they love each other, respect, appreciate, listen to opinion of one another, in this case any conflict is only a part of their joint aspiration to mutual understanding.

The first factor.

It is known that birth of the child on purpose to save marriage doesn’t promote durability of relations, and, on the contrary, more likely accelerates its disintegration. However, children nevertheless are capable to make relations stronger – being busy with problems of children, spouses can forget about own conflicts for some time, conclude a truce. But, when children grow, become independent, parents again remain in private with the contradictions, practically having forgot how to communicate with each other correctly. Unfortunately, there are cases when in family being on the verge of divorce, the child suddenly starts to be ill more often or there are constant troubles with him. Thus he/she unconsciously “protests” against disintegration of marriage of mum and the daddy, drawing to itself attention of parents. It is, according to opinion of psychologists, too high price of exit of family from crisis. It happens that having learnt that they soon should become parents, the spouses who are on the verge of rupture, decide that is it one more chance to make the relations better. And it is quite possible for many couples.

The second factor.

Among risk factors for home life psychologists name also early marriages. Them consider as fragile because young spouses should solve too many problems: household, professional, material. And to marriages between the people, who are already mature enough and have stable life, psychologists designate long existence. However, to person, who led bachelor way of life for a long time, maybe, it is even more difficult to change the habitual way of life, to adapt under someone another. And, on the contrary, adaptation to vital changes and mutual understanding with the partner passes in early marriages easier thanks to the psychological flexibility peculiar to young people.

The third factor.

The majority considers that the family compelled to overcome difficulties constantly, breaks more often, without maintaining burden. But for some people the reason of family crises is monotony, boredom, whereas difficulties only pull together spouses. Stability and regularity of life provoke crisis.

If you have big desire to save your marriage, you will exactly manage to make it, because positive thought and some efforts will help you to solve all your problems.

Do you need as answer to the “how to get your ex back” question? Please visit the site of this ex back system that has helped many people to get out of the how to get your ex back story.

Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You just need to know where exactly to find the answer and what to do about it.

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If you try to get your ex back, you should start from yourself and to get back your self-appraisal at first. There are very useful tips, how you can make it.

The first rule. Dear parents! Remember: if endlessly to repeat to the child that he knows nothing, he can do nothing, it is quite possible that once your child will really believe in it, and then he will exactly have problems with a self-appraisal. In any case you should criticize offence, instead of the person: the child always should know that you love him such as he is. It was just a little advice for you about correct behavior with children to avoid problems in future!

The second rule. Forget about how hardly you wish to increase the self-feeling. Too strong desire frequently becomes an obstacle in a way to the realization. Simply live and believe that you will achieve everything what you want.

The third rule. If you have decided to make something, make it in the nearest future. Than longer you will prepare to begin, possible difficulties seem especially insuperable.

The forth rule. Every day learn something new, do what you have never did earlier.

The fifth rule. If something is not clear to you – do not be afraid to ask a question to the interlocutor. It just is often reflected in your self-feeling, negatively or positively, you should decide yourself. It is better to seem the silly once, than to make the same mistake over and over again.

The sixth rule. Hair dress and clothes updating will help to increase a self-feeling.
Go to the gym or at least get a habit to do morning gymnastics. The strong, trained, free body in the movements wonderfully influences spirit living in this body.

And you can also make in the house general cleaning. Such trifle also means much for self-estimation increase.

The seventh rule. Try not to show your importance very much. The internal self-trust does not require “loud” external displays. The self-estimation is only an indicator of how you evaluate the forces for achievement of this or that purpose. People surrounding you will evaluate this your quality without your obvious hints.

The eighth rule. You should be more optimistic.

The ninth rule. The eternal discontent with yourself is similar to masochism, and in any way does not promote self-estimation increase. Abuse less and more often praise yourself! Remember the successes, even the most insignificant; it is possible even to write down them in the special journal.

The tenth rule. Stop to compare yourself to others, it doesn’t help to self-estimation increase. Compare yourself only with yourself.

The eleventh rule. Never justify. If there is such need, explain the act with a quiet and confident voice.
The twelfth rule. Forget about fear. Imagine that it happened something of what you were afraid so much. In advance think over variants, how you will behave. Remember that in self-estimation formation of any experience is useful, even negative.

The thirteenth rule. Allow yourself to be imperfect. Even if you do something not very good – nobody has the right to expect, that you always were faultless in every respect.

The fourteenth rule. Participate in the charity. The help to other people is the best vitamin for growth of a self-estimation.

Don’t be afraid of difficulties and you will learn to solve your problems. When you learn how to love yourself, you will be able to get your ex back easily.

Do you need as answer to the “how to get your ex back” question? Please visit the website of this ex back system that has helped many people to get out of the how to get your ex back drama.

Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You simply need to know how and where to find the answer and what to do about it.

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Behavior in conflict situations. Conflicts happen very different and it is impossible to choose unique true algorithm of behavior. We always appear in a new situation, when still it is not known what it is necessary to tell and make, what trick to apply. But we are ready to offer a number of recommendations, which will help you with any conflict situation.

1. Be emotionally sustained. Superfluous emotions will prevent quiet conversation of two partners. Furthermore, if are angry, the same condition will pass and to your interlocutor by a principle of emotional infection. In this case, you should already face with a stream of negative emotions.

2. Dispute should be depersonalized: do not aspire to convict the interlocutor, speak with detachment toward your partner. Most likely, you do not like some act of the opponent, instead of him as the person. But even if the person is not pleasant to you, do not hasten to inform him about it – he can use the same reception and then you will find out how much you are also bad from his point of view.

3. All decisions, which are accepted by you during the conflict and after it, should be weighed and considered. It is impossible to follow the emotions as usually they prompt incorrect, often provocative actions, which can aggravate the conflict and spoil relations with the opponent. To avoid it, we would like to offer the following algorithm of behavior:

- Find out a position of the partner in a concrete question and inform him your point of view. Do not be afraid to recognize correctness of the interlocutor in those moments, where he is really right. Indicate errors as much as possible correctly, showing thus your interest in their removal. Also recognize own wrongfulness in the certain moments, presenting it as your readiness for combined action under the permission of all points at issue.

- Compare behavior in conflict situations with position and find things in common. The general basis is necessary for the future joint resolution. If you and your partner can come to the agreement at least on one item, it means, it will be easier to you to agree with one another further.

- Develop alternative decisions of problems, where will be made offers from both sides. You should offer the decisions in the form of a wish, instead of the instruction.

- Compare alternatives and choose the best, considering interests of each side.

- Necessarily agree about the decision discharge, it is better even in concrete terms that anybody could not avoid it in future.

4. Use the rule of active perception of the information: attentively listen, support any statements of the opponent with a head nod, support easy visual contact, try to paraphrase any thought of the interlocutor. All these actions will help you to show your interest in the solving of conflict, respect for the interlocutor and his words. Probably, between you there will be a certain liking, which will promote a mutual understanding establishment.

Conflicts – an integral part of our life. We need to learn to solve them, to save benevolent relations with people and to protect own health, both physical, and mental.

It is almost impossible to escape the cases when you have to face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest mistake here is that people think too seriously about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole situation in another way. It is not about how to get your ex back, really. This is about how to make it interesting again.

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Perhaps, at all times the self-trust was a synonym of success, lead, completeness of life. Our century is not an exception.

What is the self-trust? What is the self-assured person like?

First of all, such person always highly appreciates the possibilities. He considers that own forces are enough for fulfillment of practically any problem set to himself. The self-assured person always openly speaks about the feelings, desires and requests, is able to refuse, is capable to come into contacts, to begin and finish conversation. He is not afraid to put before himself the new purposes and with enthusiasm undertakes their fulfillment.

And what is about the diffident person? In relations with associates such people fear (or simply are not able) to express the opinion, to speak about the desires and requirements. In long run, they cease not only operate actively on achievement of the purposes, but also cease to put before themselves in general any purposes, losing a self-confidence and a reality of realization of own intentions.

It is possible to leave from a situation in which you feel uncertainly, but it is not necessary to abuse with this method. After all, anyhow, each of us originally tests a certain uncertainty when on coincidence of circumstances he appears face to face with an unfamiliar situation. It is absolutely normal, and it is not necessary to speak about insufficient uncertainty here.

But if the alarm and constraint accompanies you all life, in conditions even most habitual for you, even at dialogue with well familiar people, it is not normal. Well, in this case it makes sense to try to increase a self-trust.

By the way, it happens that the person feels uncertainty only periodically. For example, when he appears in awkward position or it is necessary to communicate with any people inspiring to the person that uncertainty. What should you do? Immediately you think about the simple decision –to avoid meetings with this circle of people, to try not to get to those conditions, which somehow can affect self-trust level.

However, I would not advise to abuse with this method: it is possible without ceremony to get used to aspire all life to avoid difficult situations. But it is impossible to live like this. Uneasy situations of communication, anyhow, will always arise on a course of life, that will obviously not promote self-trust increase.

Live with an instant. In each separately taken instant is the real life, where there is no place to fear, to alarm, anxiety or a regret, after all the occasion to them already remained in the past or with any degree of probability will arise in the uncertain future. You should enjoy a life here and now.

Seldom who feels uncertainty, communicating in habitual conditions with close people or being engaged in well familiar business. Psychologists name it a comfort zone. Expanding the circle of contacts, running in new business – let even for the sake of it is necessary to break a certain psychological barrier – we expand borders of own zone of comfort and, thereby, we become more confident. Self-confidence will help you to get what you want in this life and to love and be loved.

Do you need as answer to the “how to get your ex back” question? Please visit the web site of this ex back system that has helped many people to get out of the how to get your ex back problems.

Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You just need to know where exactly to find the answer and what to do about it.

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